Last October, after a lot of discussion and prayer my husband and I started trying to bring a second child into our little family. We were very pleasantly surprised that after only a month, we got a positive pregnancy test. All of my uncertainties of rather or not this was really what we wanted melted away in that instant. Already we were in love, and could not wait to welcome that beautiful baby into our lives. Just a few short weeks later-at around 5 weeks pregnant- we lost the baby. It was devastating. Losing a baby is a horrible thing for any mother to go through, regardless of what point in the pregnancy.
When we lost that baby, we received so many kind words from friends and family many of whom had been there themselves and knew just what we were going through. My heart breaks for each and every one of them, it's a pain I would not wish on my worst enemy. During this time we were reminded that this wasn't meant to be and that God had something better in store for us, we had to trust in his plan and his timing. Despite knowing this in my head, I have to be honest and say at the time it was hard to truly feel that way, as I'm sure is true for many in that situation. We are only human and it's hard to wait on something you want so badly. Thankfully, for us, it wasn't a long wait.
Now as I look down at my sleeping (almost) two month old, I cannot help but feel so incredibly blessed. I know that THIS baby- our sweet, adorable Finley Grace- is the child that God had in mind for us, and that he has great plans for her and for our family. As difficult as that miscarriage was, had it not happened we would not have the sweet girl we have now. I am not saying that I'm happy about our miscarriage, or that it was a good thing...but I do believe wholeheartedly that God knew exactly what he was doing and I could not be more thankful for the beautiful child He has given us.
October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. So today, I extend my deepest prayers to everyone who has ever experienced that loss or is going through it now. I pray for your comfort and your strength. I pray that you can lean on God during this difficult time and know that He will get you through it. I pray that you will be blessed with the sweet child that He has waiting for you, and for the knowledge that when it happens, it will be absolutely worth the wait.
Tonight at 7 pm, we will join families across the nation in lighting a candle in remembrance of our little one. Together we can create a 'wave of light' across the nation in remembrance of all the babies who left this world too soon...
"When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, there isn’t a word to describe them."