A Modern Day Fairy Tale: Decisions, Decisions! {Preparing Big Brother}

Friday, July 26, 2013

Decisions, Decisions! {Preparing Big Brother}


In a previous post on Preparing Big Brother, I mentioned that one of the steps that we are taking to try and avoid (or at the very least lessen) new sibling jealousy is keeping Shaun involved in all things baby! My goal in doing so is to let Shaun know that it is not just Mommy and Daddy having a baby, but he is getting a new baby too, and he gets to help make decisions about baby sister just as we do! Of course, he's only 5 (almost 6) so we are not talking huge life changing decisions, but there are still a lot of ways he can contribute to the baby decision making...

  • Shopping: This is a very simple way to let him have his input!! It could be something as simple as letting him pick out an outfit for baby sister. Or something bigger like testing out strollers in the store and asking which he liked best. Because babies require so many new things, my hope is that this also helps minimize the jealousy of 'baby gets all these new things, what does big brother get?'. So far, this seems to be quite effective... he absolutely loves shopping for baby sister and telling Mommy all about the things she will want and need.
  • The Nursery: As some of you may remember, I had a very difficult time narrowing down a theme for the nursery...we had a color scheme and bedding already picked, but I was torn between cupcakes and princesses. I asked via Instagram, Facebook and even here on the blog for opinions and found the responses to be split down the middle as well. I loved the idea of cupcakes because it is a nickname of mine, and also less commonly done. With the color scheme we'd already started, it also would have been much easier to tie it all together. On the other hand, I adore princesses (particularly Cinderella) and there was a lot of sentimental meaning behind this theme and the way my husband and I met...I really had no idea which way to go. So finally, I decided- why not ask Shaun? To him the choice was easy- Finley is a girl, and girls like princesses. That was that, no more room for debate! And so, we went with it! He also chose the wall decal for her wall (and made an excellent choice I might add) and has been a big help there. He also insisted she needed more pink... and though I initially worried about how we would tie everything together, I have to admit, I love how things have turned out so far and am so happy that we decided to go with his opinion... he was right, girls like princesses and it is the perfect theme for our baby girl! (Reveal coming soon!)
  • Naming Baby: We chose the name Finley really early on...before we were even pregnant as a matter of fact! That part seemed to come really easy...middle names however were another story. We could not agree on anything. On our girl list, I was leaning towards Finley Kae...my middle name is Kaye, as is my mom's and Matt's moms (various spellings), so I thought it was very fitting that we would pass that onto her as well. Matt did not agree...he thought there were too many in the family and wanted something different, so we had a list of a few other names we liked, but really couldn't decide on one above the others. So again, we brought in Shaun. And once again, without debate he immediately settled on Finley Grace and left no room for debate! (As with many children with Autism, when his mind is made up- it's set in stone!) I will admit, I was still a little disappointed at first and tried to sway him towards my top choice...but now I cannot imagine having considered anything else...Grace truly is the perfect middle name and another great choice from my little man! And I love that we can now tell our daughter as she grows that her big brother played a big part in her name- how sweet is that?

We've been quite lucky that the choices he has made have been good ones! And of course, the bigger choices WERE from a narrowed down list, but still it makes him feel important. Mommy also loves hearing his opinions...and the reasons behind them when he will share. Often his explanations are so simple and sweet- again, like Finley is a girl and this is what girls like. He is looking out for his baby sister already, and I cannot wait to see how he interacts with her once she arrives! I know that there will still be an adjustment period, as is only natural when welcoming a new sibling to ANY family, Autism or not...but I am confident that he will make a fantastic big brother!!

2 comments:

  1. That's great to keep Big Brother involved! I'm sure he'll be great when little Finley comes along!

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  2. I think that it is a great thing to have Shaun involved because it will give him a better understanding on what is going to change, I am sure that he will adore his little sister. :)

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"Pleasant words are as a honeycomb: sweet to the soul and health to the bones." Proverbs 16:24