"As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him."- John 9:1-3
I found this verse a few weeks ago and I absolutely love it. I think when you have a special needs child, it's easy to ask yourself, "Why me? What did I do to deserve this? What did I do to cause this? What did my child do to deserve this?" I think it's a natural reaction. For me personally, I never asked why this happened to me, but I did go through moments where I wondered, "Would this have happened had I not allowed him to have his vaccines? Why didn't I see the signs earlier?" and so on. After the newness and shock of the diagnosis wore off I realized that for Shaun I don't believe it was the vaccines, as there were signs there before. But most importantly, I realized that if this was God's plan for my boy, then it would have happened regardless and everything happens in His time, not ours. I have had several people tell me I have such a positive outlook on Shaun's autism and I think it is because of this realization that I am able to handle it. That is not to say that I don't have moments where I get down about the struggles Shaun faces- I do, often. I would also never have wished for my child to have Autism but it is the hand we have been dealt and all I can do is love my child unconditionally and do everything I can for him. Autism is part of who he is and who he is is absolutely amazing. I have said many times, and I will say it once again, I know that God has amazing plans for my Shaun and I cannot wait to see what those plans are!!