It's Time to Fight For Your Marriage: 6 Tips to Improve Your Relationship

Marriage is a beautiful thing but is something that needs to be worked on, every day, in order for the relationship to succeed. Sadly, the current U.S. divorce rate is over 50%, meaning the odds aren't exactly in your favor.


If you are in love with your partner, you will need to fight for your marriage. Luckily, there are plenty of things you can do both as a couple and as an individual to give your marriage a chance at actual success.

"You really are forming a new system when you get married, and it needs care and feeding," said Pat Love, Ed.D, marriage and sex therapist. "In our culture, we don't do 'we' very well. We're better at autonomy: I can take care of myself, I can give to you. But being a real unit means taking another step: making the relationship itself a priority."
Learning to work on "we" is simple. For example, if you both love the outdoors and your wedding was one of the roughly 35% that are now held outdoors, why not spend some time outside together? If that's not your cup of tea, here are some great tips to strengthen your marriage:
  • Try marriage counseling -- Many couples don't seek out therapy until their relationship is truly hurting, but that might be too little too late. Marriage counseling should be considered even during the first few years of the relationship. According to BYU psychology professor Scott Braithwaite, even premarital counseling can decrease the likelihood of divorce by as much as 50%.
  • Compliment your spouse -- This is a little tip that can and should be done every day. Simply complimenting your spouse on their appearance, something they do well, or their parenting skills can drastically improve relationships over time. A single compliment isn't going to save your marriage, but it will certainly help.
  • Eat dinner together -- Life is hectic and you might have a busy career and kids running around and all sorts of chaos going on around you. That's normal. It's extremely important, however, to still find time to sit down and have a nice meal with your partner -- every day. You're going to be tired some days, stressed out others, and even angry at your spouse sometimes. Fight through these issues and try and have a nice dinner with them.
  • Go on a vacation with your spouse -- This is a tricky one because a lot of couples attempt to save their marriage with a vacation, but if done incorrectly, these trips can actually worsen the relationship. If you are communicating throughout the entire trip, from planning to the plane ride home, you'll have a much better chance of enjoying yourself and improving your marriage. There are over 19,000 airports, heliports, and other landing facilities across the U.S. and its territories; pick a spot with your partner and try and have some relaxation time and plenty of fun.
  • Start being more polite -- A lot of people are more polite to coworkers and strangers than they are to the person they plan on spending the rest of their lives with. That's not exactly a great recipe for a healthy marriage. It might feel strange at first, but start focusing on being much more polite and nice to your spouse.
  • Address medical concerns -- Dealing with low testosterone is a difficult thing for men to handle, but this needs addressing. Neglecting these issues can lead to all kinds of emotional stress and will hinder sexual chemistry with your partner. Sadly, 90% of men with low testosterone receive no treatment at all. This is a very natural problem that affects millions of men -- so don't feel bad about getting help.
"People very often don't answer the question, 'Why am I getting married? What is the problem to which marriage is a solution for me?'" said James Sexton, a New York-area divorce lawyer and other of the book If You're In My Office, It’s Already Too Late. "People don't think about that. It’s sort of just assumed you’ll get married. Why? 'Well, because we've been together for a while.' And I think there's something to be said for thinking about why someone’s getting married."

If you constantly remind yourself that you love your spouse and you want to make your relationship work, you still will have plenty of ups and downs, but you'll have a much better shot at having a happy and healthy marriage.

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"Pleasant words are as a honeycomb: sweet to the soul and health to the bones." Proverbs 16:24