Divorce is hard on children, but it is not
the end of the world. If you two can manage to be great co-parents who can
happily exist in the same room and give your children the love and attention
they deserve, you can be better apart than you ever were together. You do need
professional guidance, however, so build up your support network with this
guide:
Always Go Through a Family Lawyer to Handle Your Divorce
Divorce and family law often bring out the
absolute worst in people. To get the best outcome for yourself and your
children, you cannot go into the proceedings angry. It is, in fact, far better
to do the entire process with the guide of a family lawyer. Many family law cases can be
confusing and difficult to understand. There are rules on how far away you
can move from your ex-spouse. There are rules for joint custody. There can feel
like miles of stipulations when it comes to splitting your assets. The entire
process will not be neat or clean, and you will only do a disservice to
yourself and your family to not start your divorce with a lawyer.
Get Couple’s Counselling
The assumption that couple’s counseling is
for those who want to save their marriage is false. You don’t have to want to
stay together to benefit from this counseling. Acknowledging that it is over
between you two can help old wounds finally heal.
What this counseling will do after
you have started the divorce proceedings is help you put aside the bad
blood and, most importantly, prepare you two for a future of co-parenting. You
need to be a unified front, and you both need to step up. Never make your child
feel like they are collateral, and more importantly, be on the same page when
it comes to parenting. Children and teens do well with structure and rules, but
if the rules vary from one house to another, resentment can build.
Get Personal Therapy
Not every divorce is going to be amicable.
Even in cases where it was mutually agreed on, emotions can run hot and become
complicated. Personal therapy can help you process how you feel, understand
why, and most importantly, can help you learn healthy coping mechanisms and
tools to help you process negative emotions. This is how you can become a
better person after a hard divorce and how you will be a better parent.
Move Out, But Stay Close
The separation period will be a really good
time to help you two get your co-parenting styles down. First, rent a place
nearby for one parent who won’t be the primary residence for the kids, and then
work on ways to share in parenting responsibilities in a way that feels natural
to you. Building
new routines is also a good idea, as it will help your children adjust and
realize they aren’t losing anything and are gaining two happier parents.
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