Everybody Fights: So Why Not Get Better at It? {Book Review} #everybodyfightsbook #kimandpenn #holdernessfamily

**Book received for consideration. All thoughts are my own. 

Learn how to fight better and end arguments feeling closer, more loved, and better understood by your partner. 

We take our cars in for oil changes. We mow our lawns and pull weeds. Why don’t we do maintenance on our marriages? This relationship is the most important one we will ever have, so why not get better at it?

For the last several years, Penn and Kim Holderness of The Holderness Family have done the hard maintenance and the research to learn how to fight better. With the help of their marriage coach Dr. Christopher Edmonston, they break down their biggest (and in some cases, funniest) fights. How did a question about chicken wings turn into a bra fight (no, not a bar fight; a bra fight)? How did a roll of toilet paper lead to tears, resentment, and a stint in the guest bedroom?

With their trademark sense of humor and complete vulnerability, Penn and Kim share their ten most common Fight Fails and how to combat them. Throughout the book, they offer scripts for how to start, continue, and wrap up hard conversations. Couples will emerge equipped to engage and understand, not do battle—and maybe laugh a little more along the way. 

In Everybody Fights, couples will learn how to

• use “magic words” to navigate conflict
• break free of secret contracts
• banish the three Ds—distraction, denial, and delay
• carry their own individual baggage while helping each other deal with theirs 

Penn and Kim want you to know you’re not alone. Everybody fights. Marriage is messy. Marriage is work. But marriage is worth it. Fight for it.

Kim Holderness was born and raised in Sarasota, Florida, and was a competitive dancer (once crowned Miss Dance Florida).  She went to the University of Florida, then began her career in TV journalism. Penn and Kim met in Orlando while working in local news and were married in 2005. In 2013 they left the TV business and launched a digital content company called Greenroom Communications. Part of that launch was a video called “Xmas Jammies” that went viral, and led to appearances on GMA, the Today Show, Fox News Channel, and CNN. (Apparently Xmas Jammies are bipartisan.)  The Holderness Family currently lives in Raleigh with their dog, Sunny.

Penn Holderness was born in Durham, North Carolina, to a Presbyterian minister and a public school teacher. He was super into Boy Scouts, show choir, and synthesizers as a kid, so he wasn’t exactly a ladies’ man. He went to the University of Virginia, then started a two-decade career in TV journalism. Penn and Kim met in Orlando while working in local news and were married in 2005. In 2013 they left the TV business and launched a digital content company called Greenroom Communications. Part of that launch was a video called “Xmas Jammies” that went viral and led to appearances on GMA, the Today Show, Fox News Channel, and CNN. (Apparently Xmas Jammies are bipartisan.) The Holderness Family currently lives in Raleigh with their dog, Sunny.

If you are on social media at all, chances are you have seen at least ONE Holderness Family video. Many of us have seen many, many more. Since their first Christmas jammies video went viral, they have continued to create a wide variety of fun parody videos that are simply hard not to fall in love with. I know I certainly do. So, while I don't read a ton of marriage/relationship books typically, I must admit I was pretty excited to check this one out anyway. 

The thing that I think makes the Holderness Family videos so likeable is really the fact that they are quite relatable. Oftentimes I find myself laughing at their videos, which are funny because... they're true! This book likewise has that relatability factor. Everybody fights. If any couple has been together for a number of years, there are bound to have been arguments... that's life. This book offers insights on how to fight better and more effectively so that we can walk away from those disagreements feeling not defeated, but that we better understand each other. First and foremost, I like that they are upfront in the fact that they are not counselors, but they do share many tips from the professionals too. While we could read many books by those professionals, what sets this one apart is that classic humor that we have come to expect from them from their videos. It comes across well within the pages as well. Admittedly, at the time of writing this review, I've not read the book in its entirety, but what I have read I have enjoyed so far! 

While this is definitely aimed towards romantic relationships, I think many of the insights learned could be applied to other relationships as well. Overall, a really interesting read and one worth checking out. 

Ready to check it out for yourself? You can learn more and purchase your copy here:   http://bit.ly/EverybodyFightsBook