The
loss of a parent is something most of us already expect to have to deal with at
some point. However, you can never really be prepared for it. Whether you lose
a parent suddenly or you’ve had time to plan, it will always hit you hard.
Some
things you experience may come as a total shock. You may not even recognize
your behavior for a while. If you’ve recently suffered a loss or you know
you’re close to losing a loved one, take a look at some tips on how to deal
with the death of a parent.
1. Your Emotions May Not Be What You’d Expect
Many
people find that they cope a lot better than they imagined initially. You may
even find a type of energy you haven’t been used to for a long time. It’s
possible to have an adrenaline rush after a parent's death because you’ll be so
focused on funeral arrangements, funeral costs, and giving your parent the
send-off that’s deserved.
It’s
called the denial phase and most people will go through it after the death of a
loved one. Things will start to hit home when everything is said and done.
Simple things like being unable to pick up the phone and speak to your parent
or coming across a family photo can change the tides on your emotions.
You
may start to feel angry before anything else. You may want to lock yourself
away and grieve in your own time and space. Everything you feel is normal and
grief is a process that takes time and effort to come through.
2. You Will Continue to Speak to Your Parent
Children
develop a lifetime habit of talking to their parents when something happens in
their lives. You may have told your parent about your day at school, at work,
asked advice about being a parent yourself, and many other things. That habit
doesn’t go away when your parent dies.
You
may find yourself casually cooking in the kitchen and chatting away to your
parent as you normally would. This, again, is normal. In fact, it’s a healthy
thing to do after the loss of a parent.
Whether
you speak to your parent as you go through your day or wait to visit your
parent’s gravesite, saying what’s on your mind will help you through the
grieving process. Don’t attempt to stop doing what you normally would and put
too much stress on your mind and body.
3. You Will Need to Deal With Legal Matters
If
you were aware in advance that your parent was nearing death, you may have been
able to prepare for it. Preparing for death may have meant your parent was able
to share their wishes with you and allow you access to paperwork for wills,
deeds, finances, and more.
However,
if the death of your parent was unexpected, you may find yourself having to
deal with legal matters at a time that’s most challenging for you. There may be
expenses to take care of, property to sell and divide and your parent’s
wishes to carry out.
This
is never an easy task and if you can get another family member or friend to
help you, it may be easier to undertake. You can also get legal representation
if you feel you require it for advice in the short or long term.
4. You May Need Professional Help
Coping
with grief is never an easy task but when you’re grieving the loss of a parent,
it is particularly difficult. Grief takes on many forms and people grieve in
different ways. However, it’s important to realize when grief is taking too
much of a hold.
If
after a few months you’re finding it difficult to complete daily tasks, you
don’t want to see anyone or return to work and don’t find any pleasure in the
hobbies and activities you used to enjoy, you could be suffering from
depression.
If
you feel like you’re finding it too hard to go back to your normal way of
living, it’s a good idea to get some professional advice. Your regular doctor
will be able to offer assistance, medication, and link you to support groups or
even mental health retreats. The important thing is, you
never go through grief alone.
Getting Over The Death of a Parent
Getting
over the death of a parent is virtually impossible. You will always feel a hole
in your life where your parent once was. Whether it’s Mother’s Day, Father’s
Day, birthdays, or Christmas, you’ll always feel that loss.
However,
coping with the loss of a parent does get easier with time. With each year that
passes, you may not feel the sting quite as sharply as you do at first. A great
way to ensure you can remember your parent without having to constantly grieve
is to continue their legacy.
What
did your parent enjoy? How did your parent help your community? Following in
their footsteps is a great way to honor your parent and help you deal with your
loss at the same time.
How to Deal With the Death of a Parent
There
are no rules on how to deal with the death of a parent and there are no quick
fixes. Grieving the loss of a parent is something most of us will go through
but everyone will have different experiences.
Take
people up on their offers to help and be sure to look after yourself. Why not
take a look at more of our articles on relationships and family?
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