A Modern Day Fairy Tale: Conserving Your Marriage While Struggling With Infertility

Friday, July 7, 2017

Conserving Your Marriage While Struggling With Infertility

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For many couples, receiving news of infertility can be an all-consuming life change. As you dive into IVF treatments and tireless efforts to conceive, it is easy to forget to take care of your marriage. With about one in eight having trouble getting pregnant or sustaining a pregnancy, this is something that many couples face every day. If you and your partner are among these couples, there are steps you can take to prioritize each other even when most of your thoughts are focused on your goal of parenthood.

"Unfortunately, a great many marriages don’t survive the stress of fertility treatments," Amy Bell writes in Babble. "The painful hormone injections, the endless collection of sperm, the loss of intimacy, and the shame and anguish that often go hand in hand with fertility treatments prove to be too much for some couples. And yet, many couples emerge from the challenge of fertility treatments even stronger than they were before."fertility facts.jpg
"About 6.7 million U.S. women between the ages of 15 and 44 have an impaired ability to conceive or sustain a pregnancy to full term." Image Source

With the right set of tools, you and your partner can indeed finish your fertility journey stronger than before. Start by following these tips for caring for your marriage during the whirlwind of fertility treatments.


  • Prioritize communication. While open communication should be a part of your marriage anyway, it is especially important while going through something as difficult as infertility. Calmly communicate your concerns with your partner and take the time to listen to their's. Remember that you are in this together.
  • Plan a trip or vacation. While you are trying to get pregnant,
  • it can easily feel like your entire life is centered on conceiving. You and your love can gain perspective and focus on life joys by planning a trip. This will give you something to look forward to other than getting pregnant.
  • Consider hiring a counselor. According to the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, 98% of couples who underwent therapy together were satisfied with the results. A certified couples counselor will be able to guide you through difficult conversations and give you specific advice on how to keep your partnership strong.
  • Enjoy intimacy. Intimacy can become dull and almost mechanical when your only goal is to conceive. Plan romantic date nights and spontaneous getaways to add a little romance back in. Also remember that intimacy can also be shown in small acts like giving hugs and writing hidden notes. This extra effort will go a long way.
  • Remember to support your partner. Infertility struggles are a two-way street, so be sure that you are supporting just as much as you are receiving support. Avoid any blame games and understand that while the journey to parenthood might be rocky, you and your partner need to be there for each other.



While you are trying to heal your relationship and undergo fertility treatment, remember to be patient. These changes will not happen overnight. You may need to make small efforts before you see a larger change, so be gentle.

Choosing to stand by one another may greatly help any challenge to be overcome," Dalene Barton-Schuster, CH, Doula writes in Natural Fertility Info. "In the end the marriage may be even be stronger than before. The relationship you have with your partner is the foundation for your family, no matter how large or small that family is. You will get through this. Where you are at today is not where you will be forever. Take it one day at a time."

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