I am often told that I am a strong person...being married to a man in the military and raising a child with Autism, you just have to be! But I am certainly not without my weaknesses...in fact, I have a LOT of them. When trying to decide what to write for this week's theme: My Biggest Weakness, I realized I really could not narrow it down to just one and instead decided to go with the top three...
Anxiety: I have always been pretty open about my struggles with anxiety. It is something I have struggled with for as long as I can remember, and something that has at times kept me from trying and experiencing new things. Those that have met me personally would probably tell you I'm extremely shy/quiet- some might even say I'm anti-social (in person) and even some who don't know me well have thought I was just stuck up, but it goes much deeper than that...I actually have severe social anxiety. This has always made it very hard for me to make friends, and is something I still struggle with daily. On top of my social anxieties, I also have a lot of general anxieties as well...I'm a worry-er no doubt about that! I have actually come a long way in the past few years (again, the military and Autism will do that to you), but it's something that I will have to continue to work on each and every day. My biggest hope is that as a mom, I can teach my children to push past their anxieties and not let them control them, as they often do me.
Perfectionism/Self Critical: I am certainly my own worst critic!! About everything! Whether it be crafts I've attempted, photos I've taken, writing, looking nice...or even motherhood, I am always striving for perfection and judging myself on the expectations I've set for myself. The trouble is, I'm only human, and more often than not, I fall short. This is another thing that I am daily working on, reminding myself that I cannot be perfect, I can only do my best. Now with a baby girl on the way, I am more determined than ever to overcome this particular weakness!!
Non-Confrontational: I hate conflict. (Does anyone really like it?) Truthfully, I do anything in my power to avoid it. This often means that I bottle things up rather than avoid sticking up for myself...this is no good for anyone! Since becoming a mom, I think I have gotten a bit better at this, particularly when it comes to sticking up for my son...but when it comes to sticking up for myself? Well, that's still a work in progress.
These are just a few of my many weaknesses...like I said, I'm only human and weaknesses are part of the territory and I will continue to work on all of these one day at a time because I know doing so will make me a better mother to my little ones and a better wife to my husband. And when I am feeling particularly weak, I always try to remember a few verses that have helped me through:
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. -2 Corinthians 12:9
I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Phillipians 4:13