A Modern Day Fairy Tale: On Being A Military Wife:

Thursday, May 5, 2011

On Being A Military Wife:

As some of my readers may know, tomorrow is Military Spouse Appreciation Day! In honor of this I thought I would write a little bit about my experiences as a Marine wife. If you'd told me five years ago that today I would be married to a Marine, living across the country from my loved ones, I never would have believed it. In fact, I said at one point that I did not want to get involved with a military man because I didn't think I could handle this life. Obviously God knew better what I could handle and had other plans for my life. You truly cannot help who you fall in love with, and after 4.5 years of marriage, I could not be happier! But that is not to say that this life does not come without challenges, the following are some thoughts on some of the unique topics that the military lifestyle seems to be known for:

On being thanked/praised: If you're a military wife reading this, I am sure most of you have gotten comments like "I don't know how you do it!", "Thank you for all that you do!", and so on. While I always appreciate these sentiments and they do mean a lot (especially in the midst of a deployment), to be honest, sometimes I'm not entirely sure how I am supposed to respond. After all, I feel like I'm merely doing what all wives should do- being faithful, supportive and loving my husband unconditionally.



On deployments: What kind of 'military spouse' post would this be if I didn't mention deployments? Let's just put it out there honestly, they suck!! I try to keep things positive on this blog and not dwell on this deployment or missing my husband...and I do the same on Facebook as well. Sometimes I wonder if this makes it seem like I don't miss him as much as I do, every single day. But in the end, my husband knows how much I love and miss him, I tell him daily and that's all that matters. To me, it goes without saying. Moving on...this is my husband's fourth deployment, the third together, and saying goodbye never seems to get easier! I truly believe that any wife who tells you they don't have their bad/sad moments at one point or another during a deployment is probably not being entirely honest. It's hard being separated from anyone you love! When you have children and are left to be their one and only caregiver, it's even harder. For mothers in general, there are no breaks, no sick days but when you are a military wife going through a deployment, this is even more true! Sometimes it can be a bit overwhelming. I have found myself many times during this deployment repeating in my head "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength". This verse has truly gotten me through this so far. (You can read my thoughts on this here!) But with all things, I think it's important to look at the positive side of things, and I can say that this deployment in particular has been a growing experience for me. I have been forced out of my comfort zone and made it through more than I would have ever imagined I was capable of. I still by no means consider myself to be a strong person, but I have learned that for my son, I am stronger than I knew.



On changes: Semper Gumby=Always Flexible. If you are one who needs to have a plan and stick to it...you will find that the military will try and beat that out of you quick! Ha! Actually, we've been pretty lucky as far as moving goes- my husband has been at the same base his entire 8 years! (Though we have moved due to deployments!) But that is not to say that it has been without change, and because we have a child with autism, this can be the most difficult aspect of the military life. (And not just for us, 1 in 88 military children are affected.) Negative behaviors, loss of speech, losing progress on the potty, sleep troubles, etc...I've seen all as a result of changes- though not all military related. Like I said, it can be tough, but we have come to expect that if there is going to be a change, we are going to have some challenges and we deal with them as they come. As for anxious little me, I have had to (try) to learn to plan for the best, but expect for those plans to change so that if things work out as I hope, that's awesome but if they fall through, we were planning for that too! This is still a challenge, but one that I'm working on!


On being proud: I know there are some wives out there who are annoyed by wives who display 'Proud Military Wife' sentiments on their blogs, social networking sites, screen names, etc. If you're one of these people, this paragraph is not for you! Because I am so very proud of my husband, not just because he is a Marine, but because he is an amazing person and is great at what he does. What wife would not be proud? I had the great honor of taking part in promoting my husband to SSgt last year, after only 7 years in the Marine Corps. (I was told this was pretty impressive!) It is those moments, seeing all that he has accomplished and the respect that his fellow Marines have for him that make me proud, not just to a be a Marine wife, but to be HIS wife!


I had originally planned on writing about a few more topics (stereotypes, base living, etc), but I feel like this is a good stopping point. If this is something you would like to see more of or had other topic ideas you would like me to cover, please feel free to comment or email and I might make this a regular!

On a related topic, I was pleasantly surprised yesterday afternoon to receive an email that I have been nominated to be part of Circle of Moms Top 25 Military Family Blogs! I'm not sure how the nomination came about, so if it was one of you reading, I thank you very much! What an awesome compliment. If you would like to see my blog make this list, please click on the link below to vote for me! (You can vote once a day until May 25th!) Thanks in advance to all who take the time to vote!!

12 comments:

  1. Awww... I'm sure the nomination came from your blog itself. You're a really good writer and can truly take us to feel and think about exactly what you're saying. You're quite descriptive and seems to be a good person all around. Those of us who aren't military moms can only imagine the lives you must have and how scary it must be. You're not out there fighting the battles but your in the position to support one who is for us and with that we should all be thankful.

    I'm following you from A Mom Having Fun Blog Hop! Please come join us at voiceBoks.com as well! We have a really great group of women you would probably really appreciate connecting with!

    Take care and and hope you have a Great Military Spouse Appreciation Day!

    Lexie Lane
    www.voiceBoks.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love your positive attitude, and I'm sure takes a lot of effort at times!
    I'm following from the blog hop. Visit if you'd like to:
    childhoodmyths.net/blog

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi!
    I'm passing through from the Thursday hop to say hello and to follow.
    Have a great day!
    POSH!
    http://poshonabudget.com/2011/05/happy-thursday-11.html

    ReplyDelete
  4. I grew up in a military family...I admire your attitude and spirit!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I really like your blog and was super happy to stop by and see the wonderful support you two have between each other. A good friend of mine is a military wife, she goes through a lot! I commend you! I found you on the Surfin' Saturday Hop! http://www.smileyboyknowsbest.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. You are such a wonderful Mom and wife...WOW
    Happy Mother's day!
    Come follow me back!
    Xo
    http://lechateaudesfleurs.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  7. What a great reminder for me. While I'm not a military spouse, I have quite a few friends that are so these are great reminders of how different their lives are than mine and how much harder it can be at times. Happy Mother's Day!

    Found you through FLOB on Comment Love Day!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I appreciate you and your family! Everyone deserves love and appreciation, especially those who put their lives on the line for everyone else. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

    Courtney

    ReplyDelete
  9. Visiting from comment love. I appreciate your honesty about what it's like for you to be married to a Marine.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Visiting from Comment Love.. You should be so proud of what you've achieved as a mum and a wife! Kudos to you!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Great post! I understand and appreciate each of your points Throughout the years of military service, we have also used the term "Semper Gumby"! and think that it is great that our children have had that opportunity to grow and adapt to the many moves...they have experienced amazing things that I could not imagine and stayed very positive.
    Congratulations to your nomination :o)
    I'm running way behind in stopping by to say thank you for linking up with Mil Spouse Weekly roundup! My hubby and I went out of town, so didnt get to do all my visits...

    Please do come back any time... and in fact, do come back and leave a comment, if you hadnt on that post, for a chance at one of the flags drawn with the name of your choice. For linking up, you are entered for a chance, but for commenting it would give you another chance.

    Blessings & Aloha!

    ReplyDelete
  12. You're such an inspiration. Thanks for sharing the feelings and situation of a military wife like you. Keep inspiring.... Kudos to you....

    ReplyDelete

"Pleasant words are as a honeycomb: sweet to the soul and health to the bones." Proverbs 16:24